When an Offense Turns Into Offense….

“Offense” as a noun means to disrupt or disturb someone’s feelings or personal security. When it comes to social offenses, these moments tend to create a reception of disrespect or harm within another person.

To receive something as offensive is to claim hold of harm, dislike, and disapproval from an onset act or action on behalf of something or someone else.

In a 2026 socio-political culture, there are millions of reasons for a person to become offended. Offense is a subjective and personal experience received as self-righteous truth. The more you “hold” or carry feelings of offense towards a person, circumstance, or situation, the more you mentally position yourself as either unforgiving or “in the right.” Some people can’t let go of the hurt or harms of an offense due to their self-righteous and self-prescribed ways of thinking. They may tell themselves, “I shouldn’t have to forgive. I shouldn’t have to be the one that fixes this or let it go, because I was not in the wrong to begin with.” Such a mindset is fixed: fixed mindsets do not change or grow.

When unforgiveness, arrogance, or stubbornness enter a person’s mental and emotional state, stagnation surely follows. We are hard pressed to move past what we don’t release. Right or wrong, harboring on to feelings of unforgiveness leaves us feeling bitter. Not forgiving someone after they have offended or hurt you essentially communicates to your internal pain, “It’s fine for you to stick and stay.” Some people are comforted by their pain. However, pain is a dangerous phenomenon; it alters our insights, perspectives, and actions.

I believe that a person that moves throughout their life through a social and mental lens of pain is destined to hurt or harm others. Pain makes you selfish and self-focused: it causes you to center your moves, motives, and decisions from a lens of “me first.” “I need to be protected.” “I need to valued.” “I don’t want to be hurt.” Though we as people are naturally inclined to prioritize our own experiences over others, I firmly believe that the more a person is internally hurting, the more destructive they tend to be. “Hurt people hurt people.” Hurt people harm themselves. Hurt people prioritize self-protection over social-connection. If you consider the average person with anger issues or social-aggression, note how their capacities to be mentally and emotionally flexible are limited. They are triggered easily because they do not experience internal peace, sanity, or security normally. Some of them cope through these feelings by being  emotionally reactive and playing the offense in life.

In sports, the “offense” consists of the measures, actions, strategies, and tactics used to score points or gain a team advantage. How many people do you know that are just trying to win in life? All of us are…No one wants to endure this life struggling or crumbling at the seams. I believe every person created was made to thrive in purpose and existence. But, as we know, this life we live comes with upsets, challenges, and oppositions. There are wicked people that love to see others to fail, struggle, and stuffer.

So, no. No one is beyond taking a “hit” or heart-shattering “dig” from life. We are not immune to being harmed, attacked, or offended. But, are you holding on to pain that doesn’t serve you? Or, are you choosing to recover and heal?

…

One of the greatest gifts God ever gave me was the knowledge and awareness of my heart. My heart was bruised and broken from childhood trauma and heartache. In college, I offended easily. I was very sensitive and protective over my feelings (I relatively still am til this day). But, I believe I was even more so phased, bothered, and held back by feelings of hurt, harm, and pain, mostly due to not addressing those feelings.

I ignored how I felt, often. Eventually, I became depressed. At some point, I struggled with frequent and routine suicide ideation: I was not okay.

My sophomore year of college God showed me a vision: a long trail of hearts in a straight row. The heart closest to me was black and run down; it looked burnt. The heart in front of it was slightly less black, but it still appeared tarnished and disfigured. The heart beyond it was better, and the one after it, even better than the last. The further the line extended, the  better, brighter, redder, and more healed the hearts got. God reminded me of the scripture from Ezekiel 36:26, which begins in saying, “I will give you a new heart…”

Right then, I knew that was God’s promise to me: to give me a new heart. Before this moment, someone at church had ministered to me and said that God wanted to remove the plug from my heart. I didn’t know what that meant then, but now, I realize and see that I was holding on to my pain. I thought avoiding it would suffice, but it didn’t. It weighed on me heavy; and, the weight of it got heavier and heavier until I felt like I was breaking and broken beneath it all.

“Heal.” God commanded me to heal, to let go, to release, and FEEL my emotions. In all honesty, it hurt to start. To acknowledge my feelings head on was very uncomfortable and disheartening at first. But, after a while, God helped me to love the sensitivities of my heart and the insights they provided. He helped me to be more loving, compassionate, and understanding as a person. And, even though, I know for a fact that my journey of growth, healing, recovery, and restoration are not finished yet, I can’t help but to thank God for every moment of growth, newness, strength, and gladness He has blessed me with since His initial promise of giving me a new heart.

Before He did so, I really didn’t know how to love well or how to escape some of my bitterness with those closest to me. But, God…

If you are reading this, I urge you: please take some time for yourself. Look within and ask God to expose your heart. What offenses are you committing to holding on to? What pains do you keep cradling in your soul and mind? Who aren’t you forgiving? What conversations or pathways of healing are you avoiding? Are you being honest with yourself? Are you releasing past pains that no longer serve you? Or, are you remaining offended because it’s your “right” to do?

Please let me know your thoughts on this blog post in the comments! 😊

God bless you! I pray you would continue to find healing, evolution, and redemption within your existence and throughout YOUR JOURNEY! 💫💙🩷